Being the Minority & White Privilege

As a white person in Kenya, I experienced something very different than I ever would have in the United States.  Here, I stand out as the white or "mzungu" person walking down the street. They see me from a mile away and aren't afraid to shout or stare at me until I've passed.  I've never gotten so much attention in my whole entire life (probably combined!) than I have here.  If I stand out at home it's probably because I have a booger in my nose or my fly is down, but never because of my race.

During my whole time in Kenya, but specifically in Kisumu, I was constantly reminded of my "whiteness."  I'd walk to my internship, and for the entire 45 minutes, people (mainly men) would shout at me saying, "MZUNGU!", "White lady!", "Baby!" or some other sort of cat call.  They see white girls as "easy" based off of what they see on American television, and often times, I'd get marriage proposals just because they think I have money and can bring them with me to America.  My first week in Kisumu was so hard because after an hour and half of that every day, I seriously wanted to punch the next person who talked to me.  But after that first week, I got used to it, and now after our return to Nairobi, it actually felt weird that people weren't noticing us.  However, it was frustrating at times because I was constantly battling with trying to understand people's motives and whether they liked me for me or for the status they thought it would bring them by being friends with me.  I wanted to be friendly and form lots of relationships, but I wanted to be liked for the right reasons and not just because of the color of my skin.  

Many people here think all white people are rich and will often times ask you for things or see you as their free pass to America.  They want you to buy them things or give them your clothes, and this false idea that they had about us all being rich was frustrating, but it also made me realize that many people back home do the same thing.  They have stereotypes about Americans in their giant mansions, driving a Mercedes, and with money to spend on absolutely everything.  But then Americans, too, have this view of Africa as mud huts, where children are dying of starvation and orphaned because their parents had AIDS.  Are either of these stereotypes true?  Of course not, but I couldn't really be upset with their view of white people when I knew I had friends and family back home with stereotypes just as false about my life here. 

While adults see you as some sort of money bank, with the kids, they see you more as some sort of god or goddess.  All they want to do is touch your hair, hold your hands, and say hello.  It's like they've been taught to have this idealized image of white people, that just really isn't true.  I'd come to work covered in dust and mud from my walk, and the kids could not believe that I, the mzungu, could ever be dirty.  Even the Kenyan food I ate or the fact that I took a bucket shower, they could NOT believe; they think even in Kenya, Americans bring their giant mansions, drivers, butlers, etc. (that we don't have) to accommodate our every need.  I tried so hard to convey the concept that we're all human and actually have many similarities, yet I think they still thought I was somehow fibbing. 

I can also remember when I visited this rural school, all the kids ran up to my friend, Jenna, and me.  My professor said this was probably the first time they had ever seen a white person.  She said this would be all they'd talk about when they went home to their parents, and they would probably remember this day for the rest of their lives.  I was shocked!  I could not believe that my 5 minutes with them would have such an effect even though I really didn't do anything but hold their hands.  That was one of the moments when I had this feeling of guilt... I didn't want to be seen and remembered as some sort of celebrity because of the color of my skin, I wanted to be remembered because of who I was as a person.

Even in my internship at the children's home, I was called "mzungu" by the kids and even the other staff all the time!  I was there for 6 weeks, and often times, I'd have to remind them that my name was Jenni and not mzungu.  It made me feel so degraded because even though I had spent so much time with them, some of them still see all of us "mzungus" the same, not differing enough to even have our own names....

Yet, even though I was experiencing all of this in the sense of being the minority, I still carried my white privilege.  At every supermarket, shopping mall, etc. there are security guards standing at the entrance with metal detectors to check your bags, and almost every time, I got waved through while a Kenyan next to me would be searched.  In the few times I was checked, I set off the buzzer every time, and nothing happened-- just got a wave through the door.  I could go somewhere and people would probably want to serve me first just because I'm white.  It's so strange because in my education classes at the U, we talk a lot about the white privilege we have within the United States, but I guess I never really thought it would carry overseas.  I was the MINORITY yet still got special treatment. 

The sad part is, as much as I hate to say it, I know I'm going to miss the all the attention and all the special treatment I got here.  Even if it was for the wrong reasons, I'm going to wonder why no one wants to talk to me when I walk into the grocery store or why no one is looking at me as I walk down the street.  It's like I became so accustomed to such treatment that I almost expected it.  For example, when we went to Uganda and thought we might need our Yellow Fever cards, one of my friends had forgotten hers, and all of our mindsets were full of arrogance wrapped around the fact that we were white: "Oh, you'll be fine.  I mean, they're not going to NOT let you in." 

The fact around all of this though is that I still have no idea what it really means to be the minority.  Yes, I know what it feels like to have everyone stare at you and wonder what in the heck you're doing there every single day, but it's never in a negative light.  I never would go into a store and have someone think my ulterior motive was to steal something just because of my race.  I was never extra security checked.  Never was questioned about motives.  Never asked for my ID.  It was like, "Oh, it's okay because she's white."  You can't help but feel guilty in those types of situations, even though there's nothing you can do about it-- You are who you are, and you can't change the color of your skin.  I wish the world was different and we saw our differences in a light that valued and embraced them rather than favoring one over another or having negative stereotypes about a person without even knowing them.  And while it's sad the world is the way it is, I'm hopeful one day things will change.  I'm grateful to have had such an experience that could maybe not give me full understanding of what it's like to be the non-white minority, but gave me one, in which allowed me to reflect on my own life experiences and put into a worldview context to better understand those different from me. 

Playing catch up- My time in Kisumu!

Greetings to all my friends and family back home!

I have been neglecting my blogging due to a busy schedule and a little bit more janky internet, but now that I am back in Nairobi, I am able to write, and I’ll try update you as best I can!  I have 1 WEEK left in my time here in Kenya, and if the weather cooperates and warms up a little bit more back in Minne, I’ll consider coming home ;)

I’m starting to have some anxiety about my return as I’m very excited to go home and see all my friends and family and probably have a chocolate chip cookie or two, but this only means that I have to say goodbye to my new friends and family here.  I’ve made so many wonderful relationships with the people on my program and those living right here in Kenya, and I can only wish that Minnesota and Kenya weren’t so far away from each other.  I keep promising I’ll come back to visit as soon as I can (and I know I will eventually), but it’s so hard to know when exactly that will be which makes the goodbye process so much more difficult.  I’ll save my super sappy blog when the big goodbye process gets a little nearer and I’m sitting and crying to Taylor Swift, so for now I’ll just move onto my Kenyan life since the last update! 

I’ve lived in Kisumu for the past 6 weeks, interning at Mama Ngina Children’s Home. (I’ll also post another blog all about my experience there as soon as I can!)  I love this about the program I’m on because not only did I get to experience Nairobi and take classes on Kenyan development and history, but then I also had the opportunity to get hands-on experience in the field I’m interested in.

The first week in Kisumu was tough because we had finally figured everything out in Nairobi and now we had to do it all over again.  But after we adjusted again, our time went by so fast, and I cannot believe I already had to say goodbye and I am now back in Nairobi!  The people in Kisumu were much more friendly than in Nairobi, and they all want you to feel so welcome!  Ah!  I was so excited to see my Nairobi family again and all my friends from the program who are scattered in other areas of Kenya, but I did not want to leave Kisumu!

The new family I stayed with has a grandma and grandpa, their daughter, and their 10-month-old grandson.  CJ, the grandson, definitely kept us busy, but he is just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, so I couldn’t help but want to hold him all day!  My family loved to feed me because they wanted me to come back BIG so people know there’s food in Africa…. Um, no thank you!  It’s swimsuit season when we get back ;)

My Bucket Shower

Mama cooking chapati!

My baby, CJ!

The Chickens at our House

During the week, I was much more on my own than in Nairobi, where I didn’t see anyone from my program until Friday or Saturday.  I would go to my internship and then come home and (try) to work on my papers that are due before I go back home.  But let me tell you, if you think getting the motivation to be productive is hard in the U.S., it’s 10 zillion times worse 8,000 miles away when you just want to keep experiencing the culture and have fun adventures!   The weekends were our time to get together and be a little more westernized, where we’d go out to dinner, maybe sit by the pool, and have lots of fun out on the town.  Last weekend, we even went out on a boat on Lake Victoria and got to see the hippos!

The Kisumu Gang

Those blobs are hippos!

A couple weeks ago a few of my friends and I went to Uganda for an adventure full of bungee jumping and white water rafting on the Nile River!  We had a blast, as I’m sure you can imagine!  We took a bus to Jinja, Uganda and stayed at a hostel that organized the trips for us, so all we really had to do was wake up ready to rock and roll! :) We did rafting on Saturday, and I about had a panic attack.  They casually talked about the hippos and crocodiles in the Nile and told us that if we happen to come across one after we fall out, we just swim fast and hope for the best. Um okay, yeah that’s comforting….!  Rafting was super fun when we stayed IN the raft, but we flipped over 4 times in level 5 rapids, and I actually thought I was going to die!  On our last flip, I was trapped under the boat and kept getting sucked under the rapid and my helmet (because of my stupid, small head) fell off, and 2 other people hit ginormous rocks during the fall.  We didn’t really realize until we were finished, but it was actually probably super dangerous and wouldn’t be legal in the U.S….. Oops!  Good thing we’re still alive :) (Mom and Dad- just ignore that last part..)

The next day we went bungee jumping at 44 meters above the Nile.  We got up to the platform, and of course, I was the chosen one to go first.  I got tied up by my feet, and there was this harness around my hips, so I asked the guy if he could make it a little tighter, and he said they don’t even use that and it’s for “just in case.”  He said the only reason it’s there is because the law says you can’t go just by your feet.  So I was like, “So this is illegal then?”  And he was just like, “Well yeah, but the law changes.”  Yes, that was what I wanted to hear right before I’m about to jump…. 

The platform we jumped from!

I played it cool the whole time before we got there and even once we got to the platform and wasn’t scared until I was standing right at the ledge about to jump.  As the workers had their arms on my shoulders, I was so scared they were going to push me when I wasn’t ready, so it took me a while to jump, but once I did, it was awesome!!  It went by so fast though; I just wanted it to keep going!  After bungee jumping, we had a relaxing boat ride along the Nile to watch the sunset.  It was such a good way to end the trip, and I’m glad this was my last big hoorah before I come back to the U.S.!

Our friends we met at the hostel

Easter was so weird not being at home.  It’s the first time I haven’t been with my family for a holiday, so calling back home and talking to the whole family made me so bummed I was missing out but got me excited to see them in a few weeks!  Easter meal is also one of my favorites, so I’m hoping my family will reenact it with a special Easter basket and egg hunt just for me when I get back. 

This past week was my last in Kisumu, and the night I had to pack up my things I was a crying mess in my room.  Even Beyoncé and double-stuffed oreos couldn’t mask my pain.   My family in Kisumu was so great and saying goodbye was so difficult!  Even though in Nairobi I will have to say goodbye to my host family here, which will be super hard, there’s not as many people I met just on the street in their little shops or on my walk everyday that I will miss.  I can’t even try to explain how welcoming and caring they all were, and I know when I come back to Kenya, I’ll definitely have a place to stay.  Nairobi and Kisumu were so different because I can call my house “home” in Nairobi, but I would never consider the city itself my home.  However, in Kisumu, the city and the people all became a place that I can always call home.  I wouldn't say Kisumu is rural, but many parts of it aren't as developed as places in Nairobi.  The people in Nairobi all seem so busy and preoccupied, whereas in Kisumu, it's much more laid back.  It’s nice to be back in Nairobi, but I’m reminded of all the security issues, whereas in Kisumu, I got so accustomed to taking any form of public transportation, walking down the street at night, and carrying around some valuables.  There are parts of each that I enjoy more than the other, and I'm so glad I got to experience both, but Kisumu won my heart!

It seems unreal that in exactly one week I will begin my journey back home.  I’m honestly just not ready.  I wish I could stay for another month or two!!  Ah!  Why can’t Kenya be closer to home? 

Sorry for the extremely long post filled with a bunch of random, brief blurbs, but I was so behind!  I’ll post a couple a little more detailed in the near future.  So for now, I’m going to go experience my first hot, running shower I’ve had in weeks!  Happy Saturday :)

 

Blessings,

Jen